I'm having coffee in the NIE library(legally...there's a cafe inside), as I reflect on my 9 months here. I think over these 9 months, I have changed a little more. I did stuff that I would never have done as a student in my time. For example, openly challenging the lecturer if I disagreed on certain facts, talking absolute nonsense in class, laughing like a madman whenever I wanted to, etc. I think the people take one or two classes with me must think I'm one of those psychos who was brought in to give variety to the system.
But i think the salient point is that I wanted to test the system, how my lecturers would respond to me, how my classmates would respond to me, and more importantly what students who like that are thinking deep down inside, since I was brought up to shut up in class and do whatever my teachers told me. It has been an interesting experiment to say the least, not withstanding the times in which I have been utterly embarrassed by being stuck speaking halfway, getting too emotionally charged when arguing and being totally way off the topic, to erm..saying the darn-est things that my classmates will always remember(no... im not saying what happened, suffice to say that whatever good impression ppl had of me being intelligent and stable was prolly flushed down the toilet after that incident).
I think its hard to say if the experiment was a success or failure. but i did learn a lot. I short circuit when I talk about myself, for some weird reason or another. I think it's really cool to be yourself, say what you want and not worry about the consequences(bearing in mind that there are consequences), so I understand some of my ex students a bit better. But I think as I embark on my actual job I need to revert to my reserved self, for fear of ruffling feathers.
Oh yeah, i kinda think the no apology thing works. I'm kinda on talking terms with ppl I offended in the past, not that they like me now, but we're like ok. I guess faking friendliness it until you feel it works sometimes.
Since when did I became your idol?
ReplyDeleteSince I started to have students like u in my class.
ReplyDeleteHaving got that out of the way, I'm curious what was the objective of your experiment and why the outcome was indeterminate... Or is that a conversation best left to another time?
ReplyDeletePrimarily because I was bored, and also I was trying to figure out what makes people funny, isst spontanousness? directness? or just being blatently rude?
ReplyDeletewanted also to figure out how to manage such ppl in class.
I was also wondering if not caring about what other people think about you improves ur thinking efficiency. I think this part was inconclusive cos I could not really get past all my emotions when doing public speaking.
btw I was thinking about something recently. Do u think thinking in the chinese language is a more efficient way of thinking than in the english language?
On your first point, my take is that if someone has a different disposition from you, then what they are thinking deep down inside is likely to be different from you even if you simulate the same outward behaviour and reaction received.
ReplyDeleteYour 2nd question is a very deep one. I have some thoughts on it but too tedious to share here. haha. Let's discuss that when we meet :)
interesting 1st point. but I guess I phrased myself wrongly. I was saying that I was trying to figure out what makes people laugh, or the why people laugh, or what is funny is a more accurate description. but I'm guessing ur not a subscriber to NLP then.
ReplyDeleteyeah cool. talk more when we meet. I have this very sick feeling in my stomache I have so much more to learn just in teaching alone, after my 1st day at school tdy.
U know I feel exactly the same way :(
ReplyDeleteI think you are just enjoying the process of watching people
ReplyDelete